THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE
you know when you’re taking a hot shower and you’re sweating and getting cleaned at the same time.. yeah what is up with that?
once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”
nobody’s ever really happy to find out they’ve stayed up too late.
it used to be a cool achievement but now it’s like
"fuck. god damn it. not again. shit."
50 shades of dark circles under my eyes
My mom’s Facebook posts about me are flawless